If I had a dollar for every time I heard this comment, I’d be walking around in Jimmy Choos instead of fake Converse shoes.

Not long after my son Oliver was born, I took a buyout package from my old job at the Toronto Sun. Overnight, I went from being a local reporter to a stay-at-home mom – and I’ve never regretted my decision.

But every now and again, when I run into an old friend or former colleague, I’ll hear that dreaded comment. They’ll roll their eyes and look at me with pity or bewilderment as they weigh in about my new full-time job.

I’m sure they don’t mean to judge or make me feel bad about my decision to quit my job to raise my boy. But their words make me feel as though I’m something less – in their eyes at least – because I don’t have a career or a business card. To them, I’m just a stay-at-home mom, or worse, a homemaker.

It’s an attitude I don’t understand – particularly from women who have children of their own. I’m thrilled – and lucky – to have the chance to be home with Oliver. I get to scoop him out of his crib every morning, grinning and giggling, and share a bowl of Cheerios with him at the breakfast table. I’m there when he tries out a new word and when he accomplishes a new feat, like pointing to his elbows and nose – or mine. I’m the one to tend to his runny noses and soothe his tears.

Most people understand these are all the reasons why I wanted to stay home with my son and they’re supportive of my decision to do so. To others, it’s a mystery – and they aren’t afraid to speak up.

To be fair, every day isn’t filled with rainbows and unicorns. There are days when I’m frustrated with my busy – and at times wilful – boy and there are days when, I admit it, I’m bored with the routine of changing diapers and reading Goodnight Moon. Luckily, these days are few and far between.

In many ways, the term stay-at-home mom is a bit of a misnomer. Ollie and I are seldom at home. Our days are pretty full. Some of our outings are mundane, like trips to the grocery store, but Ollie and I also take daily walks with the dog where my boy does his best streetcar watching – he greets every passing streetcar with an enthusiastic “wow-wee!” – and we often meet friends for playdates.

For Ollie, there are weekly swimming lessons and in the spring, we’ve joined a music program for toddlers. For me, there are trips to the gym – where Ollie is content to hang out in the daycare – and weekly meeting of my mums’ group.

I’m not entirely jobless either, even though I no longer go to an office every day. I do some freelance writing and copy editing and teach weekly fitness classes, jobs that keep me fulfilled both creatively and physically while allowing me to focus on my main priority – my son. There really is no time in the day to eat bonbons, watch soaps, sip afternoon cocktails or flirt with the refrigerator repairman – all those stay-at-home clichés.

I know staying at home is not for everyone and I respect moms who do to go back to work. I just wish those detractors would respect my decision – or keep their opinions to themselves.

-- Sarah Green

   sarahg@babyontheway.ca