Yet we weren’t sure what to expect when we introduced two-year-old Oliver to his new little brother, Henry.

While I was pregnant, we showed Oliver pictures of babies and explained there was a baby inside my swelling belly. Oliver soon loved to lift up my shirt – often in public, to my chagrin – to pat my growing stomach and proclaim loudly, “Baby in belly.”

We took Oliver to every appointment with our midwife and let him listen to the thumping of the baby’s heartbeat on the fetal doppler. We also showed him pictures from his own baby album and told him he would soon become a big brother.

Despite our best efforts, my husband and I were pretty sure Oliver had no idea what was coming. Or, more accurately, who was coming.

We brought Henry home from the hospital when he was just three hours old. We were exhausted, elated and anxious to see Oliver, who was at the park with his favourite aunt. We greeted Oliver with big hugs and kisses when he got home and took him by the hand to see Henry, who was fast asleep in his car seat. Oliver barely gave Henry a glance. He had lunch, as well as more fun with his aunt, on his mind.

It wasn’t until a few hours later, after his nap, that Oliver finally took notice of Henry. My husband brought a sleep-rumpled Oliver to our bedroom, where I was curled up with Henry, and made the introductions again. Oliver clung to my husband and refused to look at me or the baby. He turned away from my kisses and buried his head in my husband’s shoulder. So much for brotherly love at first sight.

Our midwife warned us Oliver may not embrace the new baby – or me – with open arms, so we were prepared for this reaction. All we could do was give Oliver a little time to warm up to his new brother and a lot of love.

Over the next few days, Oliver seemed to grow accustomed to the new little person who was always attached to his mom. Although Henry took most of my attention, Oliver didn’t seem to mind because his dad was home.  Oliver was content to visit while I nursed his little brother and he soon learned to say “Baby Henry.” Pointing out Henry’s bassinet, baby swing and change table fast became Oliver’s new preoccupation.

While there was certainly a thawing in those first few days, Oliver didn’t completely warm up to his little brother. The first outing in the double stroller nearly ended before it began when Oliver burst into angry tears at the prospect of sharing the seat he once had to himself. His tears eventually quieted, but he wasn’t his usual chatty self on the walk, pointing out trucks and streetcars. Instead, he sullenly sucked his thumb and cast sideways glances at the stroller interloper. The first shared car ride also ended in tears – first Henry’s, then Oliver’s, who was upset by his little brother’s distress.

It’s taken three weeks, but Oliver is now the picture of brotherly love, kissing Henry’s head and touching him with a gentleness I didn’t think was possible for a busy toddler. I’m touched by Oliver’s sweetness, but I don’t expect it to last forever. I know there will be times in the days ahead when Oliver will grow bored of the baby or become frustrated when Henry has my attention. As Henry grows older and more active, I’m sure Oliver won’t like sharing his toys, treats, space or parents’ time.

Despite the growing pains I know are coming, I still hope Oliver and Henry will grow up as loving brothers and best friends.

-- Sarah Green

   sarahg@babyontheway.ca