Shower Gifts That Will Make Babies Go Gaga on Baby On The Way - Winnipeg - Baby Products, Baby Clothing, Baby Resources, Pregnancy Forums, Baby, Babies, Newborns, Expecting Resources

Hellooooo? Can anybody hear me? I’m in here. I’m in HERE! Hey you, eating the timbit party pack! Yes, I mean you, Miss Maple Dip. Can you feel THIS? How about THAT! Yeah, that’s more like it. Now that I have your attention, I have something important to tell you. I don’t mean to get all diva on you in here, but there are a few things I’m going to DESPERATELY NEED for when I cross to the other side. I know you’re busy holding down the couch these days but maybe that guy you’re always sending out on errands can do my bidding. I’m not kidding, lady. Don’t make me break your water! Are you writing this down?

Let me just say how very warm and cozy it is in here. You’ve been a gracious hostess; I’ll give you that. However, when I make my way into the world, I’m going to be naked. And cold. And shivering. I can handle it once or twice but certainly not on a regular basis. Cold’s not really my bag, you see, so what I propose is that you pick me up a Spa Baby tub. Don’t you dare bathe me in the sink in one inch of water, woman. My baby gums chatter just thinking about it. I know the tub looks like a glorified bucket, but it’s totally the BOMB! For one, it’s weighted at the bottom to give it a solid base and to prevent me from tipping over. You don’t have to use much water--just fill it to the line and put me inside. I’ll be as happy as a clam with warm water all around me. Hey, it’ll remind me of my old womb.

Don’t get me wrong. I love that baby SUV-of-a-stroller you bought for me. I know I'm really going to enjoy watching you send pedestrians careening off the sidewalk and into traffic, but here’s the thing. I really like you. You smell familiar, and I feel safe and cozy when I’m wrapped in your arms. When we’re out and about, I want to be nestled close to you, in one of these. It also doesn’t hurt that my lunch is close by. I heart boobies! Don’t worry; the Cuddly Wrap comes with both a DVD and a manual with instructions on how to wear. It’s easy and ergonomic!

OK, part of me just wants this for the name. Who wouldn’t want something called the Muffin Mat? But really, I’m going to need one, especially given the state of your floors, Miss Dust Bunny. I’m a baby, remember, so I don’t want to spend my time on hard or dirty surfaces. With the Muffin Mat, I’ll have a soft and comfy spot where I can do all my playing, rolling, and sitting. You can fold the mat up and tote it anywhere you take me, and the chenille blanket covering is removable for easy washing. I tell you what: I’ll even tolerate a little tummy time as long as I can do it on my Muffin Mat. Sound good?

I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but were you joking when you said you were going to make me a suit made entirely out of Swiffer pads so that I can dust your floors? I may be bipedally challenged at the moment but must you take advantage of my being on all fours? Still, if I must earn my keep by doing chores, I would prefer that you gear me up with these babies. These stylin’ kneepads are made by Silikids and incorporate silicon for maximum knee protection. Perfect for dusting, exploring, and baby breakdancing.

I know you’re up on your celebrity gossip, don’t try to hide it. I’m right here, you know, as you guiltily indulge in a little Lainey or Perez Hilton. Since I don’t know how to read yet, I like to look at the pictures, especially of those adorable little celebrity babies. I just loved Violet Affleck in this and I’ve decided that I WANT ONE. Not only are they cool and fresh looking, but they are made from environmentally sustainable soy fibers. But what I really love is the kimono style. It relieves my anxiety about having shirts yanked and tugged over my fragile noggin. Hook me up, Mom!